How to be Assertive at work
“Positive attitude” / “high motivation” / “Self-confidence” are the key traits in an individual that leads to being assertive at work success. With these factors in yourself, you can step up in your career creating a bright future for yourself. Possessing a correct assertive at work place and with the colleagues could aid in getting what you want at your office.
Assertiveness is one similar quality that would help you keep your point in a polite manner. It is a communication mode and assertive skills that could be easily learned. It is about standing up for your rights in a positive and calm way without being passive or aggressive. With assertive skills, you can be able to evolve rapidly.
It is about being balanced. Being direct about your needs and wants while considering the needs and rights of others as well. By being assertive at work you could manage to get what you want in most of the cases. An assertive behavior could be a base for you winning in various situation.
How to be assertive in a relationship
Being assertive in a relationship is not that easy. However, it is a technique that could be learned. Evolving assertiveness in oneself could be started by good understanding about yourself and the beliefs you value. With this simple steps, you can build the basis of self-confidence. Assertiveness not only builds your self-confidence but also provides various other perks for refining your relationship at the office as well as other spectrums of life.
The general behavior of assertive people
Can solve the problem in a better manner- they feel endowed to do anything that takes to discover the best solution.
- Are accomplishers: they know they can do it and they get it done.
- Win easily: they analyze the value of the opponent. They quickly find out the common ground and defeat the opponent from his or her position.
- Are stress-free: they are aware of their potentials and are not threatened or mistreated when things do not go as expected or planned.
About Assertive Personality
People with assertive personality manage to get what they want at the office. Assertive personality will speak out and ensure that they are heard. While the assertive people who could not communicate confidentially or hesitate in stating their point often fall to the curb. Their points are out sided as they are observed as uncategorized, weak and uncertain.
Assertive personality workers try to be assertive but end up being aggressive while keeping their point, while others go to the other end of the side completely. Hence, it is very important to manage the assertive personality in yourself so that you could stand out amongst such colleagues and depict better skills of professionalism. It is imperative that you be assertive personality without going overboard or without being feared.
Assertive personality is a technique of speaking truth to get what you want while exhibiting a confident and reliable professional image. The task is not simple but by following few methods, you can learn to be assertive as well as professional. In the present day work life, we juggle deadlines, multiple projects, changing priorities, constant interruptions in the assertive personality and fewer resources. According to the recent assertive personality, people face difficulty in negotiating limits on their workload, specifically when the request is impossible or unreasonable. While some have difficulties in giving feedback without forming disharmony in their working relationships.
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These days effective and assertive communication has become essential to survive as well as to propel your credibility and career.
9 most important skills of assertive at your workplace
1. Be certain about what you want to speak about
Your communication style defines your assertive skills. If you do not try to send the message in a crystal clear manner, expecting a clear communication is of no use. Assertive people often start speaking even before being sure what they want to say. If you are not coherent about the thing that is in your head, chances are you won’t be able to coherent it when you try to talk about it in front of others. There would be no problem if you are a fluent speaker and a strong thinker. Hence, it is necessary that you plan your objectives prior to starting the conversation.
What are you to talk about? Being very clear about what you are going to say before actually speaking up will enable you to focus more on how will you say it during the conversation or discussion.
2. Consider important things
An easy method of putting all your efforts into the drain is by messing your message with pointless information. This just instigates others to pay no attention. If the people listening to you or are part of the discussion insight the senseless tangent in the transition, instead of listening to you they will avoid your talks. Your message will be more influential if you stick to the point or get to opinion quickly without much rounding around.
3. Prepare and reduce filler
Speaking is not similar to the task of thinking. You will often discover that what seemed so perfect in your head becomes cluttered disarray when it is said out loud. Practicing out loud previously is a good option if the discussion is a particularly imperative and being assertive is of extreme significance. As everyone is aware that talking for the first time about something new can be difficult. You might tussle to find the right word, stammer, talk amongst the colleagues or repeat yourself. This mistakes could be expected if you do not prepare beforehand. The more you practice the easier the task of speaking would get.
This is also a great technique to reduce the filler- those unnecessary words that would fill the sentence while you take a pause thinking the next word. The words include “hmm”, “uh”, “you know” “well”… Most of us probably do the mistake of overusing these words and results of which our speech appears unsophisticated, hesitant or indecisive. If you have not really heard your speech before, you would be shocked to hear the using of filler often. You could improve a lot if you make yourself aware of the mistake you commonly do.
4.Control the volume
Assertive people naturally have quiet voices or a very high tone voice. The volume at which you communicate has a great impression on how assertive people interpret your message. You will seem hesitant, timid and fearful if you speak in a weak, low tone. It is a suggestion you are hiding something when people constantly ask you to repeat what you said. Manage your volume you will appear more confident, strong and certain. You do not need to yell as it puts you into the aggressive territory. However, you need to maintain the volume of your voice so that everyone is able to hear you comfortably. If you are unable to breathe properly while your speech or getting hoarse, it is totally fine to take a sip of water or pause for a moment.
5. Avoid degrading language
One of the worst things you can do while communicating is using the language that decreases the imperativeness of what you are saying. For example, the word ‘Just’ implies that something is inappropriate. “This is just an idea” or “I just thought”…. These statements seem like the person saying them is barely interested. It sounds more like a warning to the listener that what is coming is irrelevant or trifling. Another manner of doing this is by prefacing the words with phrases like: “This might sound crazy but” or “I could be wrong”…. It is like giving people a reason to consider your thought is crazy or wrong. Such framing of sentences, when heard, makes the listener look for confirmation.
Also, avoid the sound of a question mark at the end of the sentences until you actually are asking a question. It sounds like you are questioning yourself if you are stating is declarative and your voice is up at the end. If you are not certain about what you are saying how would anyone else be?
6. Trust in yourself
The most important point to keep in mind while communicating assertively is you have to confidence and trust in what you are saying. The more certain and passionate you are about the subject matter, the more natural and easier it will be to speak strongly about it. If you want to witness the assertive side of yourself, have a talk about something you deeply care about and for which your beliefs are quite strong. Listen to yourself, Watch yourself, Make a note of how you converse and find ways to have the glimpse of same assertive skills during the discussion or talk at your workplace.
7. Understand the circumstance
Know the context you are working in prior to making changes in your behavior. As assertiveness is not commonly considered as a positive trait. Does the organization, region or national culture truly value strength? Or does persuasive, quiet approach is more respected in a work situation? The reward for your assertiveness also depends on your gender. According to world’s leading gender consultation firms warns that the women asking for what they want are often labeled as aggressive and bitchy. The range of latitude is smaller for women to get away with what they want. Before altering your behavior consider the implication of your conduct.
8. Estimate your level of assertiveness
One can do this by either evaluating your own behavior or asking input from others. Question yourself: are you willing to discuss with anyone about what you want? Most people will answer this question with some experiences which direct the need for overcoming the fear and expressing the opinion more regularly. To gain a complete understanding of your style being effective or not, complete a success inventory. Over a specific time period, months or few weeks ask yourself what I want from this circumstance prior to entering the meeting or discussion. Later estimate the results: Did I managed to get what I wanted? A track record of your success is created with this and it also provides you with an indication whether you require an adjustment in your style. Rating your own behavior objectively could be a difficult task. The connection between what others see and what we think we are doing is very weak. Hence getting a feedback from a trusted colleague or conducting a complete review will be helpful.
9. Set objectives and stick to them
If you find out during an assessment that you are holding back. Ask yourself why you are keeping quiet or what you are not saying. Next time you are into something similar practice beforehand what you are going to say and how will you say it. Challenge yourself to a particular time bounded behavioral goal. For example, challenge yourself with a week to initiate conversation with colleagues on three difficult topics or decide to speak out within the first two minutes of the next group discussion. Real modifications could be made only by focused incremental modifications. If you succeed in these challenges, set other aim and stick to it. If anything does not work out then try a different one instead of beating yourself. Approach everything with a lively attitude.
Some additional tips you should consider while learning to be assertive in the workplace:
- Ask for what you want exactly without offending any junior or senior at the office.
- Deal any conversation confrontation with grace and confidence by using practical and proprietary techniques of speech.
- Use particular phraseology to gain confidence, speak truth with sensitivity and power.
- Identify the difference between digressive and aggressive behavior.
- Learn to speak the truth assertively by effective communication and stop feeling incapable in the day to day connections with assertive people.
So it is clearly evident that you could manage to get what you want at your workplace by simply bringing assertive change in your behavior and way of speaking. Just work on your assertive skills and make time to time modification in the manner you keep your point in your workplace. This small step could benefit you in several ways of building your career and work relationship.
This is guide How to be Assertive at Work. Here we have discuss the 9 most important skills of assertive at your workplace. You may also read about assertive personality-